|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 9, 2024 22:04:51 GMT -5
My broken world is decimated.
My cancer boob is in a really bad way. Pain. So much pain.
My living arrangements are a violent disaster l.
I currently have $35 dollars to my name. She wants me gone but I have nowhere to go. So told her she has to evict me.
If I was suicidal I would be dead right now.
I cannot do anything.
Terror. Trauma. So much pain physically l, mentally, emotionally, my soul shredded and gone.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 9, 2024 22:05:56 GMT -5
I want to be murdered.
|
|
|
Post by Cmart on Apr 10, 2024 0:26:19 GMT -5
Jerry I’ll be up another hour or so. DM me and let’s talk. I’ll give you my number. Or anyone else who is here. You’re not alone
|
|
|
Post by EddieTheDude on Apr 10, 2024 0:38:07 GMT -5
You have my number, please call me.
|
|
|
Post by Shia Labeouf on Apr 10, 2024 8:55:07 GMT -5
This is so sad, I really pray you get the help you need.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 10, 2024 9:39:02 GMT -5
This is so sad, I really pray you get the help you need. With all of the prayers people say they have been praying for me, if there is a God, he’s blocked all prayers for me.
|
|
|
Post by Reagle Ob (2013) on Apr 10, 2024 14:46:51 GMT -5
Let's start another gofundme. Every little bit helps when its this many of us.
God has not forsaken you. Pray to the father, and the son.
|
|
FSUgradLSUfan
Freshman
Posts: 416
NFL: Saints
College: FSU and LSU
|
Post by FSUgradLSUfan on Apr 10, 2024 14:59:00 GMT -5
Let's start another gofundme. Every little bit helps when its this many of us. God has not forsaken you. Pray to the father, and the son.lol you know Jerry aint like that
|
|
Lige
Sophomore
Posts: 1,641
|
Post by Lige on Apr 10, 2024 15:23:23 GMT -5
I'm broke as hell but I will chip in for my friend.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 10, 2024 22:13:51 GMT -5
I'm broke as hell but I will chip in for my friend. Again. I am broken. Another person I love gone from my life. I am so tired of the only emotion I can feel is sadness. Don’t know when people tell me to leave and I say ok and leave, they have to be intentionally cruel as they can be. Like, you already hurt me and broke me, do you have to piss on me too? I got told she hoped my cancer gets worse. She tried to tell the cops pushed her. I didn’t. She came flying at me as I was leaning on a wall. I kept telling her to back up but she kept coming, so I put my hands, flat on the front outside of her shoulders, she kept trying to come at me so I straightened my arms and she kept trying to walk into me. I was stationary and she kept moving feet yelling “ stop pushing me”….my BFF finally pulled her off. I know she has dementia. You can see it in her face. So can her kids. I’m sad for her. She was a marvel when she was younger. She deserves better than to go out like frail old woman.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 10, 2024 22:20:37 GMT -5
I am out of that house, never to return. 30 years of memories there. Sad this is the final one.
I am super anxious. I don’t know how. But I am even sadder than before. Don’t like that much. Still scared. Forever I think. Trauma.
Back in a hotel. Sad. Sad. Triggering to the time of the dark place in Oklahoma.
I am hoping my job is safe. Don’t know. She threatened that job too.
And on to the most fun. Muh tittay looks fucked up and hurts like a mother fucker and 50% larger that the other. I am so bummed when my body reminds even though I am free of cancer. My life is forever changed by it and I will fight for so many more years.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 10, 2024 22:21:20 GMT -5
I appreciate you all. No matter what, y’all always come through
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 11, 2024 13:33:08 GMT -5
Idk how I am going to make it through this, again. I’m just four months. BPD feeds off chaos like this. I can do just about anything until the symptoms start to swirl and drown me. I am tired of my life being nothing but struggle and survival. I can’t feel anything but sadness and fear. All the time. I’d even take feeling rage at this point. Hope isn’t even on the menu, it’s been discontinued.
|
|
|
Post by Goats gotta Goat on Apr 11, 2024 18:34:47 GMT -5
so sorry, girl. You will get thru this. Hugs.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 11, 2024 20:13:12 GMT -5
so sorry, girl. You will get thru this. Hugs. I’m eff’n trying. But I am so tired.
|
|
|
Post by Goats gotta Goat on Apr 11, 2024 21:31:38 GMT -5
so sorry, girl. You will get thru this. Hugs. I’m eff’n trying. But I am so tired. Yep. keep moving forward no matter what and no matter how little, it may be inches at a time, but inch by inch you'll get closer to where you need to be and farther from where you need to not be. I've been there, I got you. Pm if you need a call.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 12, 2024 0:09:00 GMT -5
I’m eff’n trying. But I am so tired. Yep. keep moving forward no matter what and no matter how little, it may be inches at a time, but inch by inch you'll get closer to where you need to be and farther from where you need to not be. I've been there, I got you. Pm if you need a call. Legit. Sometimes one day is too much, too far. It just seems like I never get my feet under me before I am knocked down. Staying on alert 24/7 is Bleck
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 12, 2024 14:36:52 GMT -5
Well great. Lymphedema. Get to get a needle in my boob. Oh and this is now forever. It doesn’t go away. Pain always. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 12, 2024 14:37:14 GMT -5
Jerry I’ll be up another hour or so. DM me and let’s talk. I’ll give you my number. Or anyone else who is here. You’re not alone I messaged you.
|
|
FSUgradLSUfan
Freshman
Posts: 416
NFL: Saints
College: FSU and LSU
|
Post by FSUgradLSUfan on Apr 12, 2024 15:11:51 GMT -5
Well great. Lymphedema. Get to get a needle in my boob. Oh and this is now forever. It doesn’t go away. Pain always. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. shit... that's what the doctors said? Does the needle to the boob help the pain?
|
|
cwood
Sophomore
Posts: 4,708
|
Post by cwood on Apr 12, 2024 20:07:46 GMT -5
It's frustrating that well wishes don't do anything because I think about and want the best for you, Jerry.
|
|
|
Post by wwjerryd on Apr 13, 2024 6:01:38 GMT -5
Well great. Lymphedema. Get to get a needle in my boob. Oh and this is now forever. It doesn’t go away. Pain always. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. shit... that's what the doctors said? Does the needle to the boob help the pain? Yeah. It also keeps infection away. On some hefty duty antibiotics and go back to the doc on Monday
|
|
|
Post by EddieTheDude on Apr 16, 2024 19:08:00 GMT -5
|
|